The Pill vs.Viagra – Catholic Rationale

Apparently there is some logic to the Catholic Church’s conscience battle over the use of contraception.

According to the analysis from the pulpit of the local St. Paul’s last Sunday, using Viagra is for the moral good. The holy analysis was that the use of contraceptives is for the intentional prevention of the creation of life while the use of Viagra helps the male overcome the pathological condition that would prevent him from causing his wife to be impregnated. Strengthening a good (using Viagra to help impregnation) is quite different and certainly more desirable than destroying a good (conception). Of course there was some gratuitous injections of how sex should be conjugal and not for recreational purposes.

Then ‘Father’ arrived at the thesis of his sermon. He called into contention President Obama’s audacity to order that Catholics violate their collective religious conscience by being forced to purchase contraceptives in a land where religious freedom “ranks first in the Bill of Rights”.

Then he went one step past Cardinal Doolan’s “violation of conscience” and submitted what he thought was the intellectually superior argument. The paraphrased version is that Liberals and Progressives and those who do not have a relationship with his God keep pushing the argument for contraceptives to be an item covered by health insurance because it is no different to Viagra. Well… long dramatic pause…

According to Webster’s Encyclopedic Unabridged Dictionary, the definition of “medicine” is: “any substance or substances used in treating disease or illness; medicament; remedy.” Viagra is designed to remedy a dysfunction/disease of the human body (erectile dysfunction); therefore, it is legitimately described as “medicine.” Conversely, “the Pill” is actually designed to stop the body from functioning normally and healthily; therefore, it is not legitimately described as “medicine.”

Epiphanous oos and ahs erupted from the congregation who were now gnashing at the teeth by the very mention of the labels Liberal and Progressive.

Then, in ‘Father’s’ infinite wisdom, he concluded that Viagra is used to remedy a dysfunction of the male body. The pill is used to prevent the male body from doing its function.

The church erupted in applause. Then there was the benediction and then everyone shook hands and left.

As they left I wondered how many of the women in that congregation comprised the 98% of Catholic women who use contraceptives. I wondered how many of them actually got ‘Father’s' subliminal message of the biological superiority of the male body and its function to ‘procreate’; a woman’s choice not withstanding.

And then I wondered how many of the Catholic Priests who molest our children are prescribed this medicine to assist their pathological dysfunction.

Father’s argument may be that priests cannot get that prescription becasue they do not have wives.

Father may be right but Catholic priests do have a solidly documented track record of molestation of both sexes and fathering children  with their  parishoners.



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